Why is it that sometimes. It doesn't matter how much we have trained, upskilled or time we invest in our mindset. There is this little voice in our head which seemingly can doubt us at times or make us feel like we aren't good enough? Be it confidence, self esteem or past experiences. How do we shake it off & progress?
I speak from experience. Its just been me, myself & i building my business which at times has been lonely. I admit when I first started out I was full of ambition & visions with zero clue about business meaning in turn I did a lot of things wrong (I'm literally sitting here, shaking my head at this because when I look back I reckon my guardian angels were most definitely completely exasperated at my sheer blind chaos, it was epic!)
What took me longer to process at the time of all this mis-direction. Was that it would end up causing me to question my actual work ability & sadly, affecting my own confidence. Something later on I have had to deal with. The thing is we put a front on to the world at times to show we totally have this, we are in control. When really we have no clue & are just winging it. Guess what? Everyone is! Even the most successful people. The difference? The ones who have made it push through despite it.
Over the years I have told myself so many bullshit excuses as to what I believed was the reason for my falls. Its a credit crunch, others are better than me, everyone's under-cutting me so i will never get the work. I could real off a monumental list but I think you get the jist. In reality I spent about 5-8yrs actually believing it. Then one day I thought (excuse my French) F*ck it. If other people are doing it & I'm seeing they are then why can't I? That's when change started to happen. I asked myself, you know what Alex? You have spent years comparing yourself to others & convincing yourself you're not good enough why not give yourself a year to just throw away the excuses & just have a go? Looking back now, that was the BEST & also the HARDEST decision I made in my business, but well worth it.
Ever tried getting over your own bullshit? Ever heard that internal struggle of our own mind trying to think one thing then you in effect re-programme your mind to think another way? It's exhausting. I started to realise its all about habits. Repeatedly doing it over & over again until it stuck.
Here's what I did & my advice....
I started reading. ALOT, iv learned I have an obsessive nature. I'm not a half ass lady. I go full in & that means I major in it completely. So I read everything I could to educate myself & it was so helpful. See we are taught our trade in college but who teaches us to run a business or about finances? & more to the point why do we actually 'think' we should instinctively know about it all without educating ourselves on it? Ludicrous I know, but again that was another bullshit story I told myself too.
Reading made me more aware of everything. I started looking at the people in my life & the impact they had on me. Were they my supporter or a secret critic? Sounds sad that we even have to ask this but its true. The thing is misery loves company so when I was in my negative stage it stands to reason I found a tribe of people who were the same.
Does that make them bad? Hell no. It just means when our mindsets change, WE CHANGE. Nothing wrong with that. Rule no. 1 IF people in your life are really for you. Then you being on a journey to better yourself should be something they want for you. They should want you to become the best version of yourself & if not?.....newsflash, maybe they just liked the pity party. Granted its easier said than done. Sadly, some of us have family members who are like this. My advice? Understand that how they behave is nothing about you? Love them unconditionally but distance yourself when you are trying to improve you. That's not selfish, its necessary.
Too be honest what I found was that it migrated naturally because when we hit a different vibe on life people recognise it & act accordingly.
Some wont like it? Same goes. Tough, this isn't about them. We have to get hard ladies, its a tough world out there. We got to demand what we want.
Exercise, seriously do yourself this one favour. Make it consistent & invest in your body. The therapeutic effects it will have on you will be enormous. It will relax you more, let your mind switch off & most importantly let your creative energy flow.
Get consistent. With your business & life. Get everything in order & keep at it. Even on shit days. I'm serious, especially on those days. Make a strategy & stick too it. Also, give yourself a realistic timescale on this too.
Be positive. Literally be happy, even if you don't feel like it, it goes such a long way in our business. Help your clients feel amazing by being a positive influence in their life. They will look forward to coming to see you. Not just for treatments but for you. Ladies that's your magic, it works trust me.
Make an effort. Rule no.2 Do what most people won't to get to where most people can't. Be the one who goes that extra mile its never crowded.
Look after yourself. Lather that fake tan on, get a facemask, straighten & curl your hair whatever you want. Just ensure it makes you feel great because to be the part, we must look the part. Not for anyone but ourselves.
Be a cheerleader. Look your fellow therapist in the eyes & smile. Be the one they can speak too, be real with & be the person who understands them. Friends in this business is hard. We are better together.
Get a grip. Its just a bad day not a bad life. Rule no.3 we will get NOWHERE if we cannot separate the minors from the major things. Stop letting everything knock you off keel. Breathe.
Take no shit. I'm serious, non. I don't care who it is do not let anyone mess with your flow. Move accordingly.
Lastly il leave you with this.....
If you are at this point where you want to give yourself the BEST chance to make this work an trust me, YOU CAN. There is literally nothing making you any different from anyone who has it. YES, granted some people may have had a better start, more finances behind them, more help or more whatever.....But what are you going to do? Let that hold you back? Or just get a grip, realise your blessings & know YOU CAN DO THIS despite all of that? Or cry about it & let it hold you back? To be fair i have done both at times & still do sometimes but the main thing is i pushed through regardless & so can you.
Mucho Love, your beauty queen xxx
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